singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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