i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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