Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
