You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this just has baby written all over it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
