i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I currently don't understand fingers.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
