GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
