the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
