Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
