she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
