If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
