I don't usually arrange sex via text message
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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