WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize