He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
