Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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