Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
