Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
