Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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