you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
