Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
