She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
