therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
