can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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