Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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