You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
