Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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