So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
