Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
