Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
