i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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