Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He shit in the fireplace
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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