I just threw up on my dentist
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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