I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
