I accidentally had phone sex last night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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