So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
