your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
