you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize