I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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