u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
