I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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