Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
