She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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