Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to have your abortion
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
