in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
