Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
