Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
