Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
