I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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