turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
