Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
