Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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