hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
