I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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