Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
