so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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