Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
