if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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