I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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