I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
