Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
