Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
