At least make sure they are 18
Why
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
